5/18/10
KATIE

Finally, I give you The Ugly:


Vera Farmiga in Sophie Theallet for Gap
Okay, so this is one of those "for Gap" things that I'm not so pumped about. I love Vera Farmiga, and as I mentioned in The Bad, I think that she would have killed it in Eva Mendes' Dolce & Gabanna gown. Unfortunately, Vera did not feel the same way, and she chose this awkward saloon girl look instead. It makes her eyes shine brilliantly blue, but that's where the compliments end. The fabric looks like some cheap lycra spandex and all the different layers just cut her into bits. It's sad really, because she could have looked so great in a million different dresses.



Padma Lakshmi in Roberto Cavalli
I'm kind of speechless about this...dress that Padma is wearing. She usually dresses so well, so when I saw this slide, I almost dropped my computer to the floor in shock. What was she thinking? That tacky feather/bead embroidery combo at the bustline is absolutely horrific. It almost looks like she went crazy at a JoAnn's self-embroidery class. And I know she's kind of got that post-baby body right now, which is totally okay; what is not okay is that she forgot about her maternal figure when picking out her Gala gown. I'm sorry, but metallic skin-tight sheen does not work on anybody but Giselle and the Victoria's Secret Angels. And post-baby body Padma (sorry girl).


Rosario Dawson in Giambatista Valli
I hate to rag on you, celebrity doppelganger, but this look is just, for lack of a better word, weird. It's interesting; I like the beautiful layers on the skirt, the idea of a corset, the black ribbon, the nice little diamond embellishment. But the effect of the fore-mentioned elements combined is not a good one. It's like food combinations. Yes, you might love apples and also love to dip things in ketchup, but combining the two will only yield catastrophic results (unless you are my childhood friends Sean and Stephen, in which case it is one of your favorite snacks).



Elizabeth Banks in Gucci
I'm going to cut straight to the chase, she looks like an Amazonian bird and a python interbred. I just have no clue how anyone could combine those tights with that dress and see a good look. And, no offense Gucci, but that dress alone is still not the best looking thing. Didn't fashion's love for all things feathered kind of come and go a few years ago? And even if you don't follow trends, Elizabeth Banks, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't respect them, and for that matter, respect the eyes of any of your fans. Ugh.


Lily Collins in Chanel
I only have two things to say about this outfit, seeing as Ms. Collins is a relatively unknown, she looks like Snooki's poor untanned little sister and look how small her feet are!



Katy Perry in CuteCircuit
I'm going to give her the tiniest bit of credit for 1) going out of her way to find something very interesting to wear and 2) going to a pretty obscure designer to find it. That said, no one should wear a pale, newborn themed, chiffon circus tent that glows to ANY occasion. EVER! Ever, ever ever.



Tina Fey in Yves Saint Laurent
It truly pains me to add Tina Fey to The Ugly list, because she is my absolute idol, but not even her incredible sense of humor can save this jumper. At first I thought, maybe it's not all that bad; maybe it's just this one picture that makes the look absolutely awful. No, not true. After viewing many more pictures (and discovering that it was not an ill-fitted gown after all, but that the bottom half was pants), I realized that this outfit is just so bad. I just don't want to imagine what those weird pants at the bottom looked like when she walked in them. I still love you Tina Fey!



Kristen Stewart in Chanel Haute Couture
Seriously!? Don't celebrities have stylists to avoid this sort of crippling mistake? That trash bag top and cheaply veiled bottom do not work at all together, and I can't imagine that either would look good alone either. Not to mention that the severe contrast in fabrics makes Kristen Stewart look so short. One false move, and everyone all over the world would get a real great view of Ms. Stewart's downstairs. She really needs to work on her personal style if she wants to continue to stay on any red carpet.

And finally, the ultimate disaster:



Christina Hendricks in L'Wren Scott
Hopefully I can write quickly, because I'm about to spoon my eyeballs out. This entire look is completely miserable; beyond miserable! Why?:
1) Her poor boobs are squashed flatter than if a bus were running over them. They are large boobs; nobody needs that much lift (if any) with boobs that large.
2) Her hips look huge! Wide, round, large, unflattering - the list can go on for ages. It really just looks like there's been a small explosion where her hips should be.
3) The cut of the dress looks like something a 60-year old drag queen would perform in at Vegas. The cape-like sleeves are painfully gaudy.
4) The color is intensely unflattering on her skin. While I agree in her choice to go for a brighter color to contrast her fiery hair and snowy skin, the kind of muted, bright blue she chose just washes her out. Not to mention...
5) Her makeup. It is just horrible. Christina Hendricks is such a gorgeous woman. In every other photo or video I've seen her in, she looks  stunning. This makeup though makes her look like she is either high, fighting some sort of terminal illness, or is a crazy vampire ready to maul someone.
In short, this is the worst red carpet look I have ever seen.

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